Andana (n.): The kind of person that sits in the first row of every presentation, repeats with a vengeance every phenomenally boring sentence spoken by the speaker, and nods his head so vigorously as if he/she wants it to fall off.

The Andana is also the first to clap, and the first to laugh deliriously at the boring presenter’s pathetic attempts at powerpoint humor.

Garfotia (n.): The overwhelming urge to wring someone’s neck whilst hearing him/her say “aligning with a multifunctional team”.

Octopress (vb.): The act of pressing the remote control button harder as if thats gonna make it work.

Travtorpetrid (n.): The queasy recurring doubt in a foreign country that you have somehow inexplicably misplaced your passport. Is usually followed by a frantic nonsensical search through all bags except the one that has the passport.

Burpalogicate (vb.): To self-rationalise with a Coke Light (Zero Calories) after a meal of paneer makhanwala and a naan dripping in more vegetable fat.

Totoficate (vb.): To nod at the band playing at the local pub as if the song makes a lot of musical sense, whilst critically analysing the music genre with equally uninformed friends.

Tanjong Pagar (n.): The mystical elf-like creature that is rumored to clandestinely replace used styrofoam cups in office pantries.

Bishan (n.): The sudden realisation that life is nothing but interconnected excel sheets linked by vlookups.

Yo chu kang (vb.): To make really weird faces while posing for photographs, and to also assume that they obviously look funny.

(Today’s Ganesh Chaturti. And I say this again, Bombay rocks!)

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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