Imagine a situation where you are dumbfounded by a very simple question, that too in front of a million people. Something even a kid with basic education could have answered. What does one do in such an embarrassing position? Grin and bear the shame, and try to learn better or get booed by the audience, or get thrown out of a job? And what happens when a nation has many such illiterates who need immediate re-education? Do you raise a nation-wide alarm and focus all energies on re-jigging your education system?

Hell NO. One makes a TV Show out of it. Called ‘Are you smarter than a Fifth Grader?’, where adults with fully developed brains are stumped by questions that 10 year olds have answered even before the question is finished. And then you coolly walk away with 50 grand in your pocket for accepting that you are, in fact, not smarter than a fifth grader.

The first time I saw it was when I was flipping channels and the ‘#1 game show in American TV’ caught my attention. And when I saw a woman wrong guessing which hemisphere North America was in (to be corrected by a 9 year old and win 10 grand or so in the process), I lost it. And it was when she had no shit clue about the question ‘if y=4x and 4x=12 then what is y?’ that I had an epiphany. Now I know why the ‘idiot box’ is called so.

In India, not knowing that piece of ultra-basic Algebra would mean your sweet ass being whooped by parents and teachers alike. And hell, it’s not even education, it’s basic common sense. Then, I notice that we seem to celebrating dumbness a hell lot. Fear Factor, where one eats worms and gulps ostrich eggs; Fist of Zen, where one has to smell burps for 30 seconds and what not; videos of really dumb people (more so Japanese humor) topping the charts in Youtube; a worrying trend I say.

Humor being dumb, slapstick and brainless is one thing. But brainlessness being considered normal, and even worth creating mass entertainment out of, is plain artlessness (in both senses of the word).

After I shut down the tele, I put on the radio for some musical and not-so-dumb entertainment. And there I was ambushed by another show called ‘Anything also can’. Let me explain. That’s Singlish for ‘anything goes’, or ‘everything is correct’. So in this show, all one needs to do is call up, give some random, totally unconnected answer, and win a prize.

And the kicker, that took away my faith in whatever was left in human intelligence, is that one lady called, and couldn’t answer a question on the show for 2 whole minutes. A show where she could’ve just said ‘I’m uber-dumb’ and still won the prize. But nope.

I expect too much from people, I’m told. Sigh.

(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)

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You know one of those moments where a word, a phrase, a photo or even a smell takes you years back, into the days long forgotten. That is what happened with me today.

http://www.indianexpress.com/res/web/pIe/ie/daily/19981003/27651124.html

Harish Narayanan of Ruia College won the under-21 rapid chess championship conducted by Gokuldham Chess Club at Bhavan’s College today. In the final round Harish beat L Jerome of Bhavan’s in 26 moves scoring 6.5 out of a possible seven points.

WINNERS: 1 Harish Narayanan (6.5 pts) won by toss; 2 D Ravi Shankar (6.5); V Kartik (5.5); 4 Ajit Nair (5.5); 5 Janvian Rodrigues (5). Best player: L Jerome (u-18); Devendra R Sathe (u-16).

and another one: http://www.indianexpress.com/res/web/pIe/ie/daily/19980904/24750914.html

This was in 1998. Ten fricking years ago. It has been ages since I’ve even touched a chess board, let alone play or win any tournament. But as I was reading these, they brought back fond memories, of a wonderful interest, interesting battles, strategies, brilliancies, competition, patience, preparation and pursuit of the mindsport at professional levels.

Incidentally I also happened to find online, the person who came second in that tournament (the aforementioned Ravi Shankar) today. He even remembers that I had a winning position, what kind of ending we played (Rook and Pawn) and what have been the results of our other chess encounters! Wish I had such a memory.

It was a wonderful time. Chess taught me a lot about concentration and patience, and as a child I understood what strategy and planning was about, along with short term tactics and combinations. I lived in the world of King’s Gambit, Sicilian Defense, Double Check, Discovered Attack, Ruy Lopez, Lucena Position, Bobby Fischer et al. There was a time when I played with, and was good friends with Sasikiran, who is now a well known GM in India. I have seen many upcoming stars as child prodigies, and been coached by many stalwarts of the Indian chess scene. Chess also took me to many towns of Maharashtra (Satara, Sangli, Jalgaon, Nasik, Pune, Bhusawal, Kolhapur, Solapur. All of these places have wonderful and amusing memories I associate with them.) and many towns in India. Thanks to my mom, and her Luna Moped, I toured all of Chennai and its chess tournaments.

Memories: When I beat a national champion and didn’t realize it because I came late and didn’t see the pairing list. When I made my first solo trip out of Mumbai in class 7, and found a teary-eyed mom waiting outside my dorm the next day ( :) I still remember that). When I cried my eyes out in class 4 since I didn’t with the first tournament I ever played in. When I was on a winning streak and found the only winning combination in the whole Rook ending about 12 moves down the line. The first time I blundered my queen. My 9 hour game in my first nationals at Calicut (that ended in a draw). Blind Chess and Simul Chess and Supply Chess. Long chess sessions at the Mylapore house in Chennai with Ravi Mama (my coach) and my chess partner Deepak. My first ever chess lesson about how to checkmate an opponents King with two Rooks. My first ever pan-India event prize. My Sangli tournament trip for ten days where all I carried was Rs.800 in cash. Skipping school, and even final exams to play tournaments. Beating my senior sports secretary on first day of college in KJ Somaiya, playing blind :)

Many more such instances, but am unable to recollect as of now. Need the help of my old friends to remind me of the wonderful times that we had, with the Game of Kings.

(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5)

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