Bassein (n.): The vestige of a soap that is too large to be thrown away but too small to be held while washing oneself without leaving rogue soap bits sticking all over the body. Basseins are also known to inexpicably coagulate over time to form a whole new soap.

(2 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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Andana (n.): The kind of person that sits in the first row of every presentation, repeats with a vengeance every phenomenally boring sentence spoken by the speaker, and nods his head so vigorously as if he/she wants it to fall off.

The Andana is also the first to clap, and the first to laugh deliriously at the boring presenter’s pathetic attempts at powerpoint humor.

Garfotia (n.): The overwhelming urge to wring someone’s neck whilst hearing him/her say “aligning with a multifunctional team”.

Octopress (vb.): The act of pressing the remote control button harder as if thats gonna make it work.

Travtorpetrid (n.): The queasy recurring doubt in a foreign country that you have somehow inexplicably misplaced your passport. Is usually followed by a frantic nonsensical search through all bags except the one that has the passport.

Burpalogicate (vb.): To self-rationalise with a Coke Light (Zero Calories) after a meal of paneer makhanwala and a naan dripping in more vegetable fat.

Totoficate (vb.): To nod at the band playing at the local pub as if the song makes a lot of musical sense, whilst critically analysing the music genre with equally uninformed friends.

Tanjong Pagar (n.): The mystical elf-like creature that is rumored to clandestinely replace used styrofoam cups in office pantries.

Bishan (n.): The sudden realisation that life is nothing but interconnected excel sheets linked by vlookups.

Yo chu kang (vb.): To make really weird faces while posing for photographs, and to also assume that they obviously look funny.

(Today’s Ganesh Chaturti. And I say this again, Bombay rocks!)

(2 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Novena (n.): The number of times you promised yourself that you would definitely go to the gym / definitely wake up early / definitely maintain a regular exercise regime / definitely keep in touch with old friends. Is usually a humungous number, used interchangeably with infinity and the erstwhile ‘hajjaar‘.

(Just struck me, today is 9/11! Hmm… whatever.)

p.s: Day after tomorrow will be a bonus issue of Marvinisms! But only if I land more than 10 comments in these two days :)

So… Write up!

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Dover (coll.n.): The residual list of people on your Gtalk roster, whom you will never ever ping in your life, whose status messages are never anything to be amused by. They still subsist there because you ‘might’ need to ping them ’sometime’. (The physical world equivalent of a Dover is an Outram, which is any trinket that you put aside for later because it ‘might’ be useful. It serves the singular purpose of surreptitiously bloating up the attic / storeroom / garage).

Marvinism (n.): Word meanings that connect names of places with obscure observations, awkward situations and other human idiosyncrasies. Also, a tribute to the genius of Douglas Adams.

Marvinisms for the day:

Doddabetta (n.): The act of having perennial DND status message, thereby defeating the purpose of being online in the first place. Sometimes causes the concerned individual’s mind to collapse into its own singularity.

Agam (n.): Sudden panic attack that results from an unnecessary confusion in spelling normal everyday words like bizarre (two r’s? one r? is their an i there?) and parallelly.

(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)

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